As some of you may remember, about three weeks ago I went off my meds. Part of it was in rebellion to a horrible psychiatrist and a part of it was because I was just done with all of the unwanted side effects. Now let me be clear. I do not advocate doing this. In general, it is best to stay on your meds.
With that said, I am feeling great! I’m not sure how long this will last. The ladies in my stained glass group said I seemed calmer and they didn’t know I had stopped taking my medication. They all thought I was on something new. I feel calmer. I feel more energized. I still can’t think clearly and whether that’s remnants of the ECT treatment or left over from the medication, I don’t know. My hands are still shaky, but I know the lithium is out of my system by now. So, I could just be stuck with that. My grandmother had shaky hands, so I may have inherited it. Not sure. Anyway, I know my family has noticed a difference. I’m more interactive with them AND I’m even more willing to go pick them up after sports. I used to just have my husband do that.
Going off medication, while not always a good idea, may just be an individual thing. You know, what works for one person may not work for another. So while in theory staying on medication is the right thing to do, I find for me (at least for now) going off of them is even better. I do have an appointment scheduled with a new pdoc. Granted she is more than an hour away, but at least I will finally have a doctor to supervise my lack of medication. I will feel even better about it all when I’m under a doctor’s care.
Everyone close to me knows this new route I’ve taken. This way, even I can’t see me heading for a spiral, someone is bound to. I am being very careful. I have cut out caffeine so that I can minimize the anxiety. I’m trying to exercise to lose some of the weight I gained on the medication. (This part is a work in progress.) I’m watching my alcohol intake, so that I don’t end up self-medicating. I’m minimizing my stress. This includes NOT talking to Congress. I just need to let that go for now. Sleep? Well, that’s still a problem…in the sense that I don’t get much. I know it’s important, but I do what I can. Hopefully that will resolve itself in time.
Anyway, I’ve embarked on this incredible journey and I am looking forward to seeing where it takes me. Like I said, this isn’t for everyone. It may not even be for me, but only time will tell.
Thanks for reading!