Meds, Who Needs Them?

As some of you may remember, about three weeks ago I went off my meds.  Part of it was in rebellion to a horrible psychiatrist and a part of it was because I was just done with all of the unwanted side effects.  Now let me be clear.  I do not advocate doing this.  In general, it is best to stay on your meds.

With that said, I am feeling great!  I’m not sure how long this will last.  The ladies in my stained glass group said I seemed calmer and they didn’t know I had stopped taking my medication.  They all thought I was on something new.  I feel calmer.  I feel more energized.  I still can’t think clearly and whether that’s remnants of the ECT treatment or left over from the medication, I don’t know.  My hands are still shaky, but I know the lithium is out of my system by now.  So, I could just be stuck with that.  My grandmother had shaky hands, so I may have inherited it.  Not sure.  Anyway, I know my family has noticed a difference.  I’m more interactive with them AND I’m even more willing to go pick them up after sports.  I used to just have my husband do that.

Going off medication, while not always a good idea, may just be an individual thing.  You know, what works for one person may not work for another.  So while in theory staying on medication is the right thing to do, I find for me (at least for now) going off of them is even better.  I do have an appointment scheduled with a new pdoc.  Granted she is more than an hour away, but at least I will finally have a doctor to supervise my lack of medication.  I will feel even better about it all when I’m under a doctor’s care.

Everyone close to me knows this new route I’ve taken.  This way, even I can’t see me heading for a spiral, someone is bound to.  I am being very careful.  I have cut out caffeine so that I can minimize the anxiety. I’m trying to exercise to lose some of the weight I gained on the medication.  (This part is a work in progress.)  I’m watching my alcohol intake, so that I don’t end up self-medicating.  I’m minimizing my stress.  This includes NOT talking to Congress.  I just need to let that go for now.  Sleep?  Well, that’s still a problem…in the sense that I don’t get much.  I know it’s important, but I do what I can.  Hopefully that will resolve itself in time.

Anyway, I’ve embarked on this incredible journey and I am looking forward to seeing where it takes me.  Like I said, this isn’t for everyone.  It may not even be for me, but only time will tell.

Thanks for reading!

9 thoughts on “Meds, Who Needs Them?

  1. Please, please be careful. I did the same thing…everything you describe I could have written. I wound up eventually going into hypomania and relapsed. I am glad you are very self-aware and that others close to you can monitor. I only want the absolute best for you!

    Liked by 2 people

    • I’m worried about relapse as well. That’s why I made the appointment with the new pdoc. I have no idea how long this will last or if it will last. If I have to go back on meds, I promise that I won’t refuse them. Maybe this is just something I have to try. I’ve tried just about everything else, but I will keep you updated. I don’t want you to worry. I’m going into this with eyes wide open and an open mind. I don’t want to get into a dangerous spot. I know this may not work. I hope this isn’t coming across in any way that is negative. I do appreciate your concern and will definitely pay attention to what you said.

      Liked by 3 people

      • I adore you Sus! That’s why I took the time to comment (although it was brief & abrupt sounding as I was using my Kindle and working out on the bloody elliptical – that’s why I hardly ever comment!!!!) I’ll be honest – when I tapered off lithium and my other meds and felt the depression/lethargy lift, I wanted to be “right” in my decision. I thought I was right to have the chance to at least try, you know? I soooooooooo didn’t want to relapse. It happened very insidiously. I didn’t want to be negative when I wrote my comment but I know it sounds that way! If I didn’t care….you get the idea! So yes, keep us posted. I too felt I had to try it – I just didn’t know how low I’d go and if I did, I would never had done it. But I thought I had a good chance of making it!!!!!! Just be super-vigilant and form a good rapport with the pdoc and I’ll be thinking good thoughts for you all the way!!!!!!!!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Don’t worry, Dyane. I completely understood where you were coming from. It did not come across as negative. 🙂 I just wanted to make you sure you knew that I was taking your advice to heart. Thank you. 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

      • You’re awesome not to get defensive. I told some people to basically f*ck off – which I now regret. 😦 But they didn’t know what it was like to live with bipolar and live with med side effects, which justified my rage in my frustrated, weary brain!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I am glad that you are going to see a pdoc soon, for I am concerned about your lack of sleep and that you may be ramping up. Good idea to minimize stress and confrontation (Congressional advocacy) for now. Glad that you are being open and honest with those close to you so that they can help to monitor your symptoms. Best of luck.


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